Discover The Funny Side Of Siri On iPhone!

By | January 22, 2014
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The motto of Siri, the much-loved virtual assistant on your iPhone, is to ease all your tasks, and keep you nicely entertained at all times. There are several quirky, totally ROFL ‘Siri-isms’ – a few of which have been presented below.

Are human beings the only ones on Earth with a sense of humor? Not so – if those who regularly interact with Siri, the high-on-efficiency virtual personal assistant for iOS devices are to be believed. They have a point too, for Siri, apart from offering help to users in practically all types of requirements, has a ready wit and set of hilarious quips as well (a round of applause to the Apple programmers for that!). We will here acquaint you with the side-splitting funny side of Siri on iPhone, by relating some answers she has for certain rather abstract queries:

 

  1. Does Siri believe in God? – Siri is not an actual human being, and she takes pride in the fact that she is not burdened by spiritual thoughts and beliefs. If you ask the virtual assistant whether she is a theist or not, she’ll simply tell you that it’s all about ‘siliconism’ in her – there is no scope for religious inclinations.

  2. Does Siri know why we take a dump? – A rather gross question, but you might – in a truly idle period of time – ask this. From general iPhone users, to even senior executives from mobile application development companies in India – everyone would invariably double up with laughter, as Siri would say that, taking a dump is common to everyone, and there is even a reference book on that subject (we doubt that bit though!).

  3. Is Siri professionally dressed? – Given her confident, ever-helpful demeanor, you might wonder if Siri is dressed like a typical shirt-trouser-scarf clad professional lady. It’s not the case though – for Siri (once again highlighting that she’s only a virtual being), would say that she has an attire of stainless steel and aluminosilicate glass. She would even ask you if the combination is nice!

  4. Why was Siri created? – Not all of us humans know the purpose for which we were brought to Earth, but Siri on iPhone certainly does. If you inquire about her reason of existence, Siri would explain that she is there to add value to the lives of iOS device users, along with providing some good-natured fun. Siri exists for these two reasons – and she performs both tasks well.

  5. Siri helps people with drug addictions – Addiction to drugs is bad – and those up top in the field of iPhone app development in India and abroad surely know that. Try asking Siri where you can find a couple of drug joints, and she’ll look up local rehabilitation centers instead. If you are trying to quit drugs, Siri would help – but in case you wish to stay addicted, don’t expect any help from her.

  6. Can Siri help me get rid of your body odor? – In case your genitals smell horrible (eww!), and, for some unknown reason, you feel Siri might help you with some advice to get rid of it – the virtual assistant on iPhone would not disappoint. She will point out the value of one sure-shot remedy to all unpleasant body odors – a nice, long bath. You should have been able to guess that by yourself!

  7. Does Siri know the man behind Apple? – This one comes as a surprise, for Siri, apparently, has no idea who or what Steve Jobs is! If you ask her about the founder and former CEO of Apple Inc., Siri would tell you that those who created her did not tell her everything. A bit of general knowledge brushing up required, maybe?

  8. Does Siri know which is the best smartphone in the world? – You bet she does, to the extent that – she does not even bother about knowing that devices other than iPhones even exist. Rather predictably, the Apple iPad is yet another favorite of hers. By now, you have probably figured that Siri is fond of the Apple iMac too.

  9. Does Siri know who let the dogs out? – Siri is not one to shirk responsibilities – but she would never admit to doing any action that she hasn’t performed. When you ask her who let your cat or dog out, Siri would clearly inform you that it wasn’t her. No suggestions, no corrections, a plain yes-and-no response.

  10. How much money can buy Siri? – Siri is priceless, and she knows it! Go ahead and ask your virtual assistant on iPhone about her cost, and you will get a feel that she is turning up her nose – as the words ‘you cannot afford it’ flashes on the screen. Since when was actual help and care available for sale, anyway?

  11. Does Siri know who is the fairest lady? – If you are looking to Siri for finding the lady of your dreams, all you would get from her is a reference from Snow White! Not only will she tell you that Disney’s Snow White is the fairest, but you will also be informed when the ‘magic mirror’ in the movie actually gave out this answer.

  12. Is Siri a virgin? – Unless you have nothing to do and are feeling a bit naughty, you won’t ask this one. You also have to be prepared about the smart repartee that Siri would come up with. When this question is put to her, she will respond that – the conversation was about you, and she was never the person under discussion.

 

For all of the help that Siri on iPhone dishes out, she is not ‘allowed’ to cook – so do not bother asking her to make a cookie or a sandwich for you. She is aware that users have the option to shift to the male voice of the virtual assistant – and hence, says that no specific gender had been assigned to her. Siri even acknowledges that you are her boss, and has no hesitation in admitting that you are ‘her daddy’ (along with a mild reminder that all conversations should be professional). You can spend hours on end talking with the virtual, witty, and (almost) all-knowing Siri – you will never feel bored!

 

Hussain Fakhruddin
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Hussain Fakhruddin

Hussain Fakhruddin is the founder/CEO of Teknowledge mobile apps company. He heads a large team of app developers, and has overseen the creation of nearly 600 applications. Apart from app development, his interests include reading, traveling and online blogging.
Hussain Fakhruddin
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