It’s Friday afternoon, and most of you probably already have one eye on the upcoming weekend, right? Let’s not get into any serious tech topic here, just when you are thinking about catching ‘Godzilla’ at the theaters, hitting a nightclub (c’mon, it’s Friday Night!), or looking forward to simply sleeping away the next two days. But hey, we are a mobile application development company – so how can a blog post of ours be filled with run-of-the-mill jokes and gags? It won’t – but we will put a smile on your face by categorizing all smartphone users in the following categories. Let’s see if you can identify with any of them:
The ‘Oh-So-Lonely’ Smartphone User
(S)he will spend the weekend playing single-player games (which can be anything from Solitaire to Card Shark) on his her smartphone. To add some spice, (s)he can even try texting him/herself. In most cases, these smartphone users are proud of the fact that mobile handsets are their best (and probably only!) friends.
The ‘Sleepyhead’ Smartphone User
These poor dears can’t really be blamed. They’ll party hard till late night, return home in the wee hours of Saturday morning, put their smartphone in silent mode, and drop on the bed like drooping daisies. Their dreams of sleeping till Saturday noon will be quashed though – simply because they had forgotten to silence/put off the phone alarm too. At 6:00 am, the device will rudely awaken them – and they will remain sleepy throughout the Saturday.
Note: Some are more fortunate – their sleep is too deep to be disturbed by phone alarms!
The ‘Know-It-All’ Smartphone User
Well, they don’t really know everything about everything, but they sure know how to use their smartphones to cover up their knowledge deficiencies. Try telling something to them during a weekend gossip session – and they will immediately flash out their fancy iPhone/Android phone, launch the internet, and prove (at least try to!) that you are factually wrong.
The ‘Too-Many-Contacts’ Smartphone User
Most smartphones offer unlimited contact lists – and these users would use this feature to store the numbers of as many people as they can. Confusions would soon ensue, as they end up sending text messages, WhatsApp messages and BBM pings to the wrong persons. And as they say, a wrong message in the hands of a wrong person can spell DOOM!
The ‘Misled’ New Smartphone User
From iPhones and Android handsets, to even Windows Phones and Blackberry (to a much smaller extent though) – every smartphone platform has hardcore fanboys. A new buyer can get influenced by the biased opinions of his/her buddies, and later find that his buying-decision was not at all correct. Imagine a weekend traveler having to rely on the grossly inaccurate Apple Maps!
The ‘Creative’ Smartphone User
These lot have to be applauded. They will come up with new, entirely original (at most times) and increasingly intriguing ways to use their mobiles, without compromising on their own convenience. Instruction manuals don’t have any meaning for them – they will use their smartphones in exactly the way they feel like.
The ‘Always With Charger’ Smartphone User
A smart set of people. They know that a smartphone laden with scores of mobile app won’t offer great battery life, and are forever ready to pull out the phone charger at every opportunity. A bit of frustration might creep in though – after all, it’s plain sad if your phone battery dies quickly after a full night of charging.
The ‘Absent-Minded’ Smartphone User
To give credit where it’s due, they are very agreeable in nature. The problem is, they are not always aware of what they are saying ‘yes’ to – particularly if they have the latest smartphone model in their hands. There are loads of gaming apps launched by mobile app companies every month – these users have them all, and keep playing even when there’s ice in the car or fire in the house!
The ‘Oh, dear! Can’t Use’ Smartphone User
Someone from up above are not pleased with these people – and hence, these troubles. Imagine the chagrin of a teenager, all set to show off his/her flashy new smartphone to friends – only to be stymied by the fact that (s)he can’t unlock the screen. Repeated tries later, and confidence levels having taken a nosedive – (s)he has to trudge to a local service center, and get the stupid, malfunctioning (or should it be non-functioning?) device repaired.
The ‘Laggard’ Smartphone User
They are perennially late to jump on the latest smartphone bandwagon. Those from this group depend on rumors and hearsay for deciding on which model to buy – and ultimately end up spending money on an almost outdated device. Think about someone buying the Samsung Galaxy S2 instead of the chic, new S5 – and you’ll get the picture.
The ‘Superhero’ Smartphone User
These self-professed superheroes are nothing but addicts of mobile adventure games. In a virtual world, they perform all sorts of deadly stunts with consummate ease – and unfortunately, feel that they can do the same in the real world too. Sense arrives only after a fractured limb or any other form of serious injury. This is precisely why mobile apps for kids do not generally have any form of dangerous actions depicted in them.
The ‘Forever Comparative’ Smartphone User
Blackberry fans view iPhone-users as too flippant, Android fans view Blackberry as a piece of fossil, iPhone fans think of Android-users as wannabe geeks…and the argument continues. The moment (s)he catches up with you – (s)he will take the slightest cue on arguing that his/her smartphone is way better than yours. It’ll be an absolute blessing if you have the same model though – the, the two of you can jot down the minus points of all other mobile OS platforms together.
The ‘App-Addict’ Smartphone User
If you say ‘What is a smartphone without regularly updated mobile apps?’, no one will agree with you more wholeheartedly than these people. Even when their mobile battery is about to breathe its last, their first concern would be to auto-update their apps (and ensuring that the battery gets exhausted even sooner!). Not calling home, not texting to parent – it’s only about those ‘more-precious-than-life’ apps.
The ‘Wifi Hunter’ Smartphone User
At restaurants, at home, while walking across the driveway – these people will keep checking whether their smartphone has free wifi access. If yes, they will do a bit of quick browsing – or else, they’ll keep looking. They believe (correctly) that the mobile web network should not be overburdened, and if wireless connectivity is available anywhere – it simply MUST be used. No wonder most places have started using password-protected wifi resources.
The ‘New’ Smartphone User
Ah, our sweet moms and dads – migrating from the first time from their out-of-fashion Nokia handsets to sleek smartphones. Tasks as simple as typing out a text message or putting the phone on loudspeaker seem more challenging than rocket science to them. Try calling them up or strike up a SMS conversation with them – and you’ll easily detect how awkward they are with smartphones.
A quick disclaimer – There are many elderly people who use smartphones with absolute elan. We aren’t talking about such quick learners here.
The ‘Not-In-Sync’ Smartphone User
We don’t often realize this, but smartphones have a mind of their own. Just because someone has downloaded a cool music app from a good mobile apps company does not mean (s)he will be able to enjoy just the songs (s)he likes. It might very well happen that the phone’s favorite tunes are different from that of the user’s. In such cases, the former’s wishes prevail. Nearly always.
The ‘Overprotective’ Smartphone User
Alternatively known as snobs. They will show off the snazzy new mobile devices they have recently bought – but all hell might break loose if you even touch the phones without their prior consent. It’s not actually a fault – they indeed believe that their pricey smartphones can be handled in the best manner only by themselves.
The ‘Follow The Fad’ Smartphone User
They love the feel of new smartphones – and they wish to enjoy the feeling every few months (or even weeks!). Every time there’s a buzz about a new smartphone being launched, they are the first to pre-order it. Factors such as price, technical specs, longevity take a backseat – as only one concern takes precedence: to own something no one else yet has.
The ‘Prankster’ Smartphone User
From friends to parents , no one escapes the brunt of his/her jokes. At times, these pranks are so uncannily practical, they take the other party by surprise. Many relatively serious confessions have taken place during mobile conversations – by people who have fallen for pranks being played on them.
The ‘Always Out Of Space’ Smartphone User
The ones who are always too eager to download every app released by leading Android and iPhone app development companies. They will fill up the internal memory of the phone in about 3 days, get external microSD cards, and won’t take long to fill that up either. In the end, you’ll hear them whining about how nothing useful can be stored on their phone!
The ‘Forgetful’ Smartphone User
They are not absent-minded in general, they are not new smartphone users – they have simply got hold of a handset that has too many complicated features. Making the store attendant explain all the features and button functions is all very nice – but it is (naturally!) mighty difficult for them to remember everything, after a couple of days. The result? An embarrassed face in front of friends and a frantic search for the user-manual.
The ‘Frustrated’ Smartphone User
Everything they try to do with their smartphone is only just off the mark – or so they feel. They get irritated when ‘lol’ changes to ‘LOL’ by autocorrect while typing, when the video streaming of a live match is just a little slow, and other such trivial matters. Oh, and don’t even ask them about the experience of trying to tap on small-sized links!
The ‘Forever On Facebook’ Smartphone User
Living life out of the spotlight is simply not an option for them. They might or might not have enough balance to talk on phone, but are always logged on to Facebook – and forever sharing details on where they are at, what they are doing, and tagging other unfortunate people with these posts. They are generally big fans of asking questions on Facebook too. Who bothers asking actual human beings nearby – when there is FB on mobile?
The ‘Selfie’ Smartphone User
Almost everyone has one of these people in their friends’ circles. Irrespective of whether the time is appropriate or not, they will jump at the chance of capturing their own images by the front camera of their phones (which often come out to be hideous or weird or plain uninteresting) – and sharing them on Facebook and Twitter. If the mobile camera malfunctions for a day or so, they go into bouts of depression.
Quick trivia: Do you know ‘selfie’s’ cousins ‘welfie’, ‘helfie’ and ‘selfeye’? If not, contact a selfie-addict, now!
The ‘New-Age Student’ Smartphone User
Thanks to lightning-fast internet access on smartphones and zillions of free educational apps for kids, smartphones have replaced textbooks for many contemporary teens. According to them, what’s the point in buying books or spending a day scouring through library catalogs – when all the information can be obtained in an instant on their phones. Ask them anything, and they will be ready with the answer – provided that their phones have web connectivity.
There is also the group of ‘rude smartphone users’ – who will enjoy the safety that distance automatically provides, to hurl abuses and insults via text messages through their smartphones. For the ‘neurotic smartphone user’, not finding their handset for even a couple of minutes is nothing short of a nightmare. They say that the choice of mobile phones tell a lot about our personalities – and how we use smartphones reflect on our characteristic traits too!
Have a great weekend, everyone…
Hussain Fakhruddin
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